Darkest Nyte Page 13

Chapter 11

  Nyte stood at the door, watching Lucinda cuddle her cat, and his heart ached at the haunting sadness he saw in her eyes. How lonely she must have been over the years.

  Since Randalph had been chosen as her mentor in Nyte’s place, she had spent her lifetime believing she should fall in love with a man whom Fate had never intended her to bond with. What had that done to her self-confidence? She would know deep inside she could never love Randalph, and would sense that he could never love her in return, yet her conscious mind wouldn’t believe those instincts.

  No wonder she didn’t trust her attraction to Nyte.

  Yet she seemed on the verge of losing the struggle against loving him.

  "I, uh...," she stammered, then gave up and just stared at him.

  He sighed and stepped into the room. The cat leaped from her arms and bounded out the door.

  He had to help her get past the barriers she’d built against her own intuition, and he knew the best way to do that.

  "You haven’t mistaken my feelings for you, Lucinda." He crouched in front of her and took her hands. "I am grateful to you for helping me, but that has nothing to do with this...."

  He drew her from her chair and into his arms. He found her mouth with his. The delicate feel of her soft lips under his ignited the passion boiling deep in his heart. For her and her alone. He allowed it to pour into her, to seep into every cell of her being. He loved her and he wanted her to feel the full force of it.

  When he pulled back, one look at her wide, luminescent eyes staring into his, and he was certain he’d convinced her she was more to him than just a good Samaritan.

  But had he convinced her he loved her?

  He stroked the hair from her face, entwining his fingers in the soft waves over her ears. The feel of her hair against his skin, the sweet, delicate scent of her tickling his awareness, the warmth of her energy curling through him--all sent his senses whirling. How empty his life had been before experiencing the sheer joy of holding this special woman in his arms. She added depth, and color, and light to everything around him. Nothing he’d ever experienced could compare to loving Lucinda.

  "Surely you must know what I feel for you is more than lust." He stroked his thumbs across her silken cheeks and murmured, "I told you, you are my woman, and that means for always."

  The remaining doubt in her eyes clawed at his insides. He closed the inches between them and caressed her lips with his own. The sweet sensation of her mouth on his sent his blood pressure pulsing to the clouds and turned his heart upside down.

  He stroked her lips with the tip of his finger, savoring the soft moistness of her flesh.

  "And that also means I am your man. Never doubt that."

  Her man? Lucinda desperately wanted to believe that. She had wanted to be loved for such a long time, to be special to one person in a way that would bind them forever, but she had hidden that need in the depths of her soul, buried under a pile of painful memories where even she couldn’t find it.

  Her relationship with Rand, as close as it was, had never filled the emptiness. And she had now come to accept it never would.

  But dare she believe that Nyte truly loved her?

  What she saw in the simmering depths of his midnight eyes told her he spoke the truth. Hope ignited within her--but quickly faded as she realized he might well believe everything he’d told her, but he spoke in the absence of his memories. Right now, he was a man without a past, but that past would catch up with him sooner or later.

  He didn’t remember Clarissa, or the bond he’d shared with her. Lucinda could hope it wasn’t a true Love Bond, but knowing her luck, Fate had not stacked things in her favor.

  If it turned out he was meant to be with another woman....

  Nyte stroked her cheek and lowered his lips to capture hers again, but she ducked sideways and crossed to the counter, claiming some much needed distance.

  "What happened to you earlier, when you teleported?" She turned away from him and stacked dishes in the sink. "I was worried when you didn’t reappear right away." She kept her voice as nonchalant as she could, but a slight tremor belied her composure.

  She felt his hands curl over her shoulders and his warmth pervaded her being.

  "I’m sorry I worried you." The whispered words curled around her like a gentle caress.

  "Well, you couldn’t help it." She eased around to face him. "Could you?"

  "No, I had no control over what happened. I just seemed to be ... lost ... for a while."

  Lost? Her heart clenched at the thought of him alone in darkness, not knowing where he was, not knowing his way back. She longed to reach out to him, to draw him into her arms and hold him in a gentle, comforting embrace.

  She waited for him to say more, wishing he would share the experience with her. But he said nothing.

  "You seemed shaken when you returned," she prompted as she scraped the remains of her chicken onto a small plate and put it on the floor for Merlin. When she stood up and turned around, she found herself face to face with Nyte.

  "Yes, it was an unnerving experience."

  His closeness unnerved her, but she didn’t move away.

  "Won’t you tell me what happened?" She searched his eyes, looking for a hint of the trauma he must have suffered, hoping to find a way to help him through it.

  "I’d rather not talk about it right now. It’s still a jumble in my head."

  Disappointment seeped through her. She started to move away, hurt that he wouldn’t confide in her, but he captured her shoulders.

  "And there’s something much more important I need to do right now."

  He drew her into his arms and lowered his lips to hers. His tongue swept the edges of her mouth and the exquisite sensation aroused her craving for Nyte. She parted her lips and he entered her with a tender touch that muddled all her carefully prepared arguments, drew forth all her hidden passions, and swirled them around until she felt so dizzy she couldn’t think straight.

  Her nipples, two pinpoints of super-heated desire, thrust against her sweater, longing to be touched by him. The heat between her legs threatened to exhale in a raging breath of fire.

  Right at this moment, she didn’t care about Love Bonds, or Fate, or anything else except this man, this kiss, and the overwhelming desire she had to join with him.

  He drew back and she saw his eyes burning like heated coals in a flame. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. That was very clear.

  Her vaginal muscles contracted, overwhelming her with the need to feel him inside her, to feel the completeness that she’d never known before, and never consciously wanted to know until now.

  "Lucinda...." His eyes glowed with a gentle understanding that tugged at her heart.

  He scooped her up and strode toward the stairs.

  "We are meant to be together, love. Don’t ever doubt that."

  His lips found hers again, the tender coaxing pressure assuring her there was nowhere she’d rather be right at this moment. Her eyelids drifted closed.

  As he started up the stairs, she felt her body jostled, then a strange disorientation set in. Almost as if she was being tugged through space.

  What’s happening?

  Her body felt like a feather fluttering through the air, helplessly carried on a forceful breeze. Slowly, a heaviness settled within her, dragging her down. The warmth of Nyte’s arms around her was gone, with nothing to save her from the pull of gravity.

  Her eyelids snapped open and she found herself dropping unceremoniously onto a burgundy leather couch. Unfortunately, she wasn’t centered over it and the wind puffed out of her as her back slammed down on the armrest. Her arms flailed as she tried to grab onto something, at the same time gasping for air. A pair of hands steadied her as she threatened to tumble to the floor. Finally, she slumped safely on the couch, staring up at Rand’s concerned blue eyes.

  "For heavens sake, Lucinda, why didn’t you correct your landing?"

  She blinked a few times,
trying to catch her breath. After a moment, she realized Rand must have pulled her here.

  An intense flash of anger bolted through her.

  "My landing? It was your spell that pulled me here," she snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "What on Earth do you think you’re doing?"

  Of course, she should have been able to compensate for his ineptness, but she’d been a little preoccupied.

  "I’m sorry. It was a hasty spell and I didn’t quite adjust properly." He stepped back to give her room to stand up. "You know how hard it is when you’re pulling someone else, especially when you’re in a hurry."

  She pushed herself to her feet and brushed herself off. She glanced around at the dark leather furniture, the shelves of books lining the walls, and the large stone fireplace against one wall. The mantel was lined with several beer steins and a familiar soapstone sculpture stood in the center position. A line of dense trees was visible through the front window. Rand’s place.

  "Why did you feel it was necessary to drag me here like this?" she demanded.

  "I thought you might resist coming."

  She crammed her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Might resist?" Her voice had careened at least one octave too high. "You’re darned right I would have resisted."

  Her hands clenched into fists and she stalked back and forth across the carpeted floor. "It’s bad enough that you walk in on me unannounced in my own home, then manipulate my business schedule to your own convenience, but you’ve gone way too far invading my personal freedom this time."

  She knew she was angrier than Rand’s misdeed deserved, and she also knew it was because of the sexual adrenaline still flooding her system, but she didn’t care. She wanted to get back to Nyte.

  "I’m leaving." She raised her arms, ready to fling herself through space, anxious to continue what she and Nyte had begun.

  "No, wait!"

  The urgency in Rand’s voice made her hesitate.

  "You’ve got to listen to me," he pleaded.

  She sighed impatiently. Her heart still pounded with her desire for Nyte.

  She plunked down on one of the two armchairs and folded her arms across her chest. "All right. I’ll give you two minutes. Explain away."

  "It’s about Nyte. He has his memory back."

  She narrowed her eyes as she stared at him. Last time she’d seen Rand, she’d finally convinced him Nyte had lost his memory in the first place. Now Rand hoped to convince her he had it back?

  "No, you’re mistaken," she said.

  "It happened a few hours ago." He settled into the large gliding rocker, which was his favorite chair.

  Doubt coiled through her. If Rand spoke the truth, it would explain why Nyte had gone off by himself. If a flood of memories had swept through his brain, he’d want time to sort through them.

  But when he came back....

  She slid her arms onto the armrests, her fingers curling around the edges. "No, he would have told me." Wouldn’t he?

  "What did you teach him today?" Rand asked.

  "Teleportation."

  "That could have done it, considering." Rand stood up and paced across the floor. "It could have triggered the return of his memories just like a second bump on the head could bring back the memories of an amnesiac suffering from a concussion." He stopped in front of her. "Lucinda, you must realize that now he has his memory back, he also has his full magical power, too. Since you were called specifically to help him regain his power, that means he doesn’t need you anymore."

  Didn’t need her?

  The thought spiked straight through her heart. Is that why he’d hesitated this afternoon when she’d kissed him? Because he now understood she’d only been a temporary stand-in as mentor?

  But the kiss? The way he’d picked her up and carried her up the stairs? His goal clearly to make love to her?

  "Lucinda."

  She felt Rand’s hand on her arm and she shivered.

  "Nyte and I were very close once. I’m worried that he will do anything to hurt me." He stared straight into her eyes. "And the best way to do that would be to hurt you."

  She clutched the dragon pendant hanging around her neck, stroking the stone it held in its claws.

  Rand planted his hands on her shoulders and stared deeply into her eyes.

  "Tell me, Lucinda. Have you slept with him?"

  Every bone in her body turned to ice. "That’s none of your business."

  "Lucinda, think about it. That’s one way he’d try to hurt me. By coming between you and me. I can already see he’s gotten to you, tricked you into caring for him."

  Tricked? She felt her face drain of blood. Could it all be based on a lie? His intense looks filled with desire. His seductive smile that melted her heart. His promise that they were meant to be together forever.

  A queasy feeling rolled through her stomach.

  She shoved her hair behind her ear and sucked in a deep breath.

  No. She couldn’t reconcile that thought with what she knew of Nyte, and with the feelings she had for him. He was sensitive and caring, not the sinister stranger Rand described.

  She eased away from Rand, and his too-close scrutiny, and settled onto the couch, clinging to the armrest.

  "But what’s the point, Rand? Say we did ... well, you know. How could that hurt you? Are you afraid I’ll be devastated when it ends?"

  "Yes, because I know that you wouldn’t ‘you know’, as you call it, unless you’d fallen in love with him."

  Her gaze locked with his. He thought she loved Nyte? How did that make him feel? Did it hurt him to think she might love someone else and not him?

  "If you’re expecting him to love you back...." He shook his head. "Believe me, Lucinda. He’s not capable of the emotion."

  Rand took both her hands in his, turning her to face him. Looking into his glittering blue eyes, she had a feeling she wasn’t going to like what he had to say next.

  "Lucinda, I know we’ve never talked about it, and we should have...."

  She stared at him blankly, one part of her knowing where this was going, another not believing that after all these years, he might actually talk about it. He shifted on his feet and scowled.

  "It always seemed there were too many years between us and...." His voice trailed away.

  Her stomach clenched. She knew she should stop him, but now that he’d finally broached the subject, the rejected little girl inside wanted to hear what he had to say. He shook his head and strode to the fireplace, then leaned against the mantel.

  "I’m talking about a Love Bond. The one that should have formed between you and me."

  "But never did," she finished.

  He turned back to her, his blue eyes glittering with emotion.

  "Because we never let it." He shook his head and glanced away from her. "Because I never let it."

  Now that the topic had finally been opened, Lucinda felt all the pain that had been locked away deep inside her, open up and flood her being. When she was younger, she’d thought he was just waiting until she got a little older, then when she got older, to the age when most other wizards had long since formed their bonds, she didn’t understand why he still waited. She had wanted to talk to him about it, had made a few feeble attempts, but he’d always dodged the topic.

  "Why, Rand? Didn’t you want me?"

  He approached her and took her hands in his, a soft light of kindness glowing in his eyes.

  "It’s not that I didn’t want you, Lucinda. It had nothing to do with you. It was me. I didn’t think ... I couldn’t...." His eyelids scrunched tightly closed.

  The pain she saw in his face shocked her. "What is it, Rand?"

  "When you came along, I had already lived so many years. I thought I was well past my prime. In fact, by my own reckoning, I was already an old man. I couldn’t reconcile that fact with the thought of," he stroked her hand, "...of falling in love with a beautiful young wizard like you."

  She covered his hand with her own. "Rand
, I understand what you’re saying. I...." She shifted a little, averting her gaze from his. "I was concerned about the age difference between us, too."

  His eyes grew misty. "And as far as Love Bonds go, I’ve never quite trusted in Fate, Luce. I’ve seen things happen that have tested my faith."

  Lucinda understood having her faith tested. Her life hadn’t been exactly textbook. She wanted to tell him it was all right, that she had accepted the fact they would never form a Love Bond, but the tortured look in his eyes warned her to delve deeper.

  "Rand, there’s something else, isn’t there?"

  "I never felt I deserved you."

  She squeezed his hand. "That’s ridiculous."

  "Lucinda, there are things you don’t know. I...." He drew his hand from hers. "I did something, long ago, before you were born. If you knew, you would understand."

  The agony in his eyes tore at her heart.

  "Tell me."

  "I can’t."

  He paced again.

  "I wasn’t being fair to you. I hadn’t realized how much you needed that kind of love in your life. I had thought the friendship we shared would be enough, but...."

  An uneasy feeling prickled through her.

  "Rand, are you telling me you want to...?"

  Did he really think he could consummate a Love Bond with her now? After all these years? Panic streaked through her heart.

  How could she tell him that she knew they weren’t meant to be Bonded? If she rejected him now, it would be a major blow to his self-esteem.

  He pulled his shoulders back and drew his head high. "Is it really so unthinkable?"

  "No, it’s not that," she replied hurriedly. "It’s just that ... well, this is so sudden."

  She stared into his eyes, trying to read his feelings. Was he just doing this to keep her away from Nyte or did he truly feel a closer connection with her than she’d always believed?

  "Rand, are you serious? Do you really feel this way about me?"

  She loved Rand, there was no question of that, but to be lovers?

  Rand leaned toward her and she knew he was going to kiss her. As his lips touched hers gently, almost reluctantly, her eyes fluttered closed. At first it was a sweet, friendly kiss that held no magic. But suddenly, she felt a tingling through her whole body and ... the kiss changed.